I’m Done Budgeting. I Quit.

July 25th, 2008
Jesse
Budgeting
18 Comments

I Quit Budgeting I’m tired of it. Sick about it. Through with it. Finished. Fertig. Done.

I can’t stand knowing exactly what my money is doing at all times. It’s so obedient! My money just sits there, looking up at me like some dependent, too-young-too-realize-how-things-work puppy just out of obedience school waiting for me to give it some type of command — just so it can march off and execute my plan to a level of perfection found only in military brigades and the Von Trapp family.

Oh sure, I can tell you how much I spent on groceries during 2004, 2005, 2– anyway, I can tell you those things. Easily. But what do I have to show for it? A keen sense of how my life plays out financially? An uncanny ability to forecast (to within ten dollars) what we’ll spend in any given category during virtually any given month? (On average, we all know there are no perfectly normal months).

Really. What do I have to show for it? Instead of filling my head with this useless information (wow, housing costs are how much in relation to the rest of our spending, is this a problem we should talk about?) I could have been really getting to know the new people on Survivor. Now I can’t even name them!

Oh, it gets worse. My wife and I we…we talk about things like what kind of financial goals we have. She actually openly shares her feelings about things like retirement goals, aspirations, kids’ college etc. And you know what? It gets much worse. She spends money and doesn’t feel guilty about it.

How am I supposed to handle that? Huh? So yeah, when we were budgeting we would sit down at the beginning of the month and plan where to spend our money, and then yeah–uh–I guess she felt fine about buying the stuff we had planned to buy. Okay, when I write it out like this it doesn’t seem that hard to handle, but — eh — you get my point right? I mean, spending = guilt. We learn that as soon as we get our free t-shirt from those Visa people on campus.

Budgeting’s making me lose my edge. That’s one of the big problems. I used to be able to tell you exactly how much money I had in my checking account.

$10.12. Boom.

$18.45. Bam!

($25.40). Zing! (Yeah, it was overdrafted a few times. I didn’t think they’d cash the check. It had been three weeks!)

Now though. Seriously, if I want to know my bank balance I have to login to my bank and check. It’s in the thousands, I know that. But beyond that I’m not sure. Wait — yeah, it’s something like $6,000 (well, $1.5k is for property takes, which are due in six weeks, $200 of that is for groceries for the rest of this month, and we’re saving for Christmas so we can pay cash — that’s $800 of it, with a goal of hitting $1,000 before The Season rolls around–UGAHHHHHH! YOU SEE WHAT’S HAPPENING? WHAT KIND OF PSYCHO AM I? WHO DOES THAT?)

Whew! Anyway, that six grand, that’s a ballpark figure. And that’s what’s killing me! Every morning, first thing, I used to check my bank balance. And then again when I got to work because I had just bought some stuff on the way and wanted to be sure there was still enough to be able to buy lunch that day and — OH NO I TOTALLY FORGOT I NEEDED TO BE ABLE TO PUT IN AT LEAST 2 GALLONS OF GAS TO GET HOME.

Where was I?

Right. So I miss that daily “interaction” with my bank balance. It’s like it doesn’t even know I’m there anymore. It just “does its own thing” making me feel all secure and confident — as if money could make me feel confident. Everyone knows confidence comes from looks–the main contributors being well built-out delts and rippling pecs.

So I quit. I’m through. It’s done. We are OVER.

When I first started, it felt okay, you know? I would still enter transactions daily and look at my bank balance a lot and all that stuff. But then this totally weird thing started happening:

I think we started spending less money. I couldn’t tell you for sure because before we started budgeting I have no idea how much we were spending… but I noticed that I didn’t need to enter as many transactions after several months. Maybe each transaction was just a larger amount? No… OH! That’s probably where the 6 Gs came from that are in my checking account! That’s like “old spending” that I haven’t gotten around to spending yet!

Yeah, this budgeting thing, it’s just completely changed my life. I’ve got to stop. I think there’s a 12-step program out there somewhere for people like me, you know, people that are reaching their financial goals, don’t feel guilty about spending money, have great communication with their spouse, etc.

Hi. My name is Jesse and I’m a budgeter.

“Hi Jesse…”

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Tags: 12 step program, budget software, Budgeting, communication, personal budget, personal finance

18 Comments

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Kristen July 25, 2008: That’s very funny, Jesse!

Casey Murdock July 25, 2008: Hey Jesse, I know what you mean. I started serious budgeting 11 years ago and I can’t kick the habit, no matter what I do. I find myself actually using my budget as a way to relax and relieve stress sometimes. When I tell my friends that, they act like I have a disease and they start to move away from me a little and then make some kind of uncomfortable comment and change the subject. I know they talk about me when I am not around and worry that I don’t know how to enjoy life anymore. I have wanted to come clean about this addiction to budgeting that I have, and your blog gave me the courage. I think that we should start our own organization - ABA (Addicted Budgeters Anonymous). I would guess that there are others who come to this web site who are also held firmly in the grasp of their budget. We need to help everyone step up and become normal again.

Sylvia July 25, 2008: Lot of fun, Jesse. Funny, I haven’t done a budget for 20 years–first because I was too poor and then because I just naturally spend less than we make. Then I married Bob who also saves and spends less than he makes, so we do OK (well, OK–the addition took us over what we make, but we had that money in savings). Being poor had the same effect for me as keeping a budget had for you!

Budgets are Sexy. July 25, 2008: Hum….i’ll have to agree that a) it was funny!, and b) it SUCKS sometimes, but I still think they’re hella sexy

Link Roundup: Hot Fun in the Summertime! | Counting My Pennies July 26, 2008: [...] I’m Done Budgeting. I Quit. (love this!) [...]

Sam July 26, 2008

Jesse,

I feel your pain it is even worse in the fact I am saving so much salary that I am starting to feel like a pauper. 10% Roth 401K, 10% Stock purchase plan, 5% Future Bills, 9% Investments. You get the picture. I think I am having less money to spend than I did, 4 years ago. I can’t even tell you how much I make, I can tell you how much I have to budget. It is crazy. Here is the funny thing, I had to make a graph showing the amounts that they were growing over time.

My name is Sam, and I am a budgeter!, and a YNABER!

WairereRose July 26, 2008: Too funny. Sign me up. I’ll use the side door.

Kerry August 14, 2008

Jesse ~ you rock. YNAB rocks. And, this is just plain funny.
cheers.

Cory August 14, 2008: LOL awesome =)

Donnie August 14, 2008

Jesse,

Some of us aren’t ready to let go of that control… if my wife and I ever decide to quit budgeting we’ll let you know. For now we will continue to be guilt free about the guilt freeness that comes from budgeting.

You’re hilarious, dude.

****patiently waiting for the Mac version*****

~A big fan~

Fabio August 14, 2008

I haven’t quit budgeting yet because I haven’t really started. I started with a few things, budgeting for this and that, but I started to feel too much in control of my finances, too much of a financial peace of mind. I used to feel uncertain on whether I could buy something or if I could afford to take a vacation someplace far. Now I don’t worry about that. Life is so planned, it’s now kind of boring. It’s not exciting and dangerous like before, leaving on the edge of financial bankrupcy! Now all goals have a timetable to accomplish. The spontaneity is out! What a boring but secure life?

I’m just kidding of course. I mean the opposite of all I’ve written.

Macbraugton » You Need A Budget August 14, 2008: [...] The author of the extremely useful “You Need A Budget” financial software, Jesse Mechom, suprised the world today when he decided to quit budgeting. The full details can be found here. [...]

Rob August 14, 2008

Jesse,

That is hilarious. I am right there with you. I have added a number of extra spreadsheets to YNAB to calculate specific things. Graphs sound like a great idea too! (thanks Sam).

Estelle E August 14, 2008

Wow, I know I should join the group ABA, but I already have a membership in the group called Compulsive Spenders. Can’t wait for that subscription to expire!

Thanks, Jesse, for showing us the light at the end of the tunnel. And all the humor and good vibes it can bring!

Spitfire August 15, 2008

Hi Jesse,

I have fallen off the wagon. I bought YNAB Pro last July, but fell of the wagon last year. I really want to be a budgeter again so I am getting back on starting tomorrow! I am really looking forward to it!

Thanks for your supportive tools!

Janice Campbell August 19, 2008

Hi Jesse-

I just thought I’d let you know that I included this amusing post in the Carnival of Homeschooling today. It may not be directly homeschool-related, but money-management is definitely something that kids need to learn. You can see the post here: http://www.janice-campbell.com/2008/08/19/carnival-of-homeschooling-more-to-school-than-textbooks/

Harmony August 22, 2008: So…this means that just as I was getting ready to purchase YNAB and put myself through all this pain and misery, I can toss that idea out into the idea graveyard in my backyard where all my good ideas are buried! Back to big spending, plastic money, free wheeling and feeling fine. YAY!