I’m tired of it. Sick about it. Through with it. Finished. Fertig. Done.
I can’t stand knowing exactly what my money is doing at all times. It’s so obedient! My money just sits there, looking up at me like some dependent, too-young-too-realize-how-things-work puppy just out of obedience school waiting for me to give it some type of command — just so it can march off and execute my plan to a level of perfection found only in military brigades and the Von Trapp family.
Oh sure, I can tell you how much I spent on groceries during 2004, 2005, 2– anyway, I can tell you those things. Easily. But what do I have to show for it? A keen sense of how my life plays out financially? An uncanny ability to forecast (to within ten dollars) what we’ll spend in any given category during virtually any given month? (On average, we all know there are no perfectly normal months).
Really. What do I have to show for it? Instead of filling my head with this useless information (wow, housing costs are how much in relation to the rest of our spending, is this a problem we should talk about?) I could have been really getting to know the new people on Survivor. Now I can’t even name them!
Oh, it gets worse. My wife and I we…we talk about things like what kind of financial goals we have. She actually openly shares her feelings about things like retirement goals, aspirations, kids’ college etc. And you know what? It gets much worse. She spends money and doesn’t feel guilty about it.
How am I supposed to handle that? Huh? So yeah, when we were budgeting we would sit down at the beginning of the month and plan where to spend our money, and then yeah–uh–I guess she felt fine about buying the stuff we had planned to buy. Okay, when I write it out like this it doesn’t seem that hard to handle, but — eh — you get my point right? I mean, spending = guilt. We learn that as soon as we get our free t-shirt from those Visa people on campus.
Budgeting’s making me lose my edge. That’s one of the big problems. I used to be able to tell you exactly how much money I had in my checking account.
$10.12. Boom.
$18.45. Bam!
($25.40). Zing! (Yeah, it was overdrafted a few times. I didn’t think they’d cash the check. It had been three weeks!)
Now though. Seriously, if I want to know my bank balance I have to login to my bank and check. It’s in the thousands, I know that. But beyond that I’m not sure. Wait — yeah, it’s something like $6,000 (well, $1.5k is for property takes, which are due in six weeks, $200 of that is for groceries for the rest of this month, and we’re saving for Christmas so we can pay cash — that’s $800 of it, with a goal of hitting $1,000 before The Season rolls around–UGAHHHHHH! YOU SEE WHAT’S HAPPENING? WHAT KIND OF PSYCHO AM I? WHO DOES THAT?)
Whew! Anyway, that six grand, that’s a ballpark figure. And that’s what’s killing me! Every morning, first thing, I used to check my bank balance. And then again when I got to work because I had just bought some stuff on the way and wanted to be sure there was still enough to be able to buy lunch that day and — OH NO I TOTALLY FORGOT I NEEDED TO BE ABLE TO PUT IN AT LEAST 2 GALLONS OF GAS TO GET HOME.
Where was I?
Right. So I miss that daily “interaction” with my bank balance. It’s like it doesn’t even know I’m there anymore. It just “does its own thing” making me feel all secure and confident — as if money could make me feel confident. Everyone knows confidence comes from looks–the main contributors being well built-out delts and rippling pecs.
So I quit. I’m through. It’s done. We are OVER.
When I first started, it felt okay, you know? I would still enter transactions daily and look at my bank balance a lot and all that stuff. But then this totally weird thing started happening:
I think we started spending less money. I couldn’t tell you for sure because before we started budgeting I have no idea how much we were spending… but I noticed that I didn’t need to enter as many transactions after several months. Maybe each transaction was just a larger amount? No… OH! That’s probably where the 6 Gs came from that are in my checking account! That’s like “old spending” that I haven’t gotten around to spending yet!
Yeah, this budgeting thing, it’s just completely changed my life. I’ve got to stop. I think there’s a 12-step program out there somewhere for people like me, you know, people that are reaching their financial goals, don’t feel guilty about spending money, have great communication with their spouse, etc.
Hi. My name is Jesse and I’m a budgeter.
“Hi Jesse…”
That’s very funny, Jesse!
Hey Jesse, I know what you mean. I started serious budgeting 11 years ago and I can’t kick the habit, no matter what I do. I find myself actually using my budget as a way to relax and relieve stress sometimes. When I tell my friends that, they act like I have a disease and they start to move away from me a little and then make some kind of uncomfortable comment and change the subject. I know they talk about me when I am not around and worry that I don’t know how to enjoy life anymore. I have wanted to come clean about this addiction to budgeting that I have, and your blog gave me the courage. I think that we should start our own organization – ABA (Addicted Budgeters Anonymous). I would guess that there are others who come to this web site who are also held firmly in the grasp of their budget. We need to help everyone step up and become normal again.
Lot of fun, Jesse. Funny, I haven’t done a budget for 20 years–first because I was too poor and then because I just naturally spend less than we make. Then I married Bob who also saves and spends less than he makes, so we do OK (well, OK–the addition took us over what we make, but we had that money in savings). Being poor had the same effect for me as keeping a budget had for you! ;-)
Hum….i’ll have to agree that a) it was funny!, and b) it SUCKS sometimes, but I still think they’re hella sexy ;)
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Jesse,
I feel your pain it is even worse in the fact I am saving so much salary that I am starting to feel like a pauper. 10% Roth 401K, 10% Stock purchase plan, 5% Future Bills, 9% Investments. You get the picture. I think I am having less money to spend than I did, 4 years ago. I can’t even tell you how much I make, I can tell you how much I have to budget. It is crazy. Here is the funny thing, I had to make a graph showing the amounts that they were growing over time.
My name is Sam, and I am a budgeter!, and a YNABER!
Too funny. Sign me up. I’ll use the side door.
Jesse ~ you rock. YNAB rocks. And, this is just plain funny. :)
cheers.
~k
LOL awesome =)
Jesse,
Some of us aren’t ready to let go of that control… if my wife and I ever decide to quit budgeting we’ll let you know. For now we will continue to be guilt free about the guilt freeness that comes from budgeting.
You’re hilarious, dude.
****patiently waiting for the Mac version*****
~A big fan~
I haven’t quit budgeting yet because I haven’t really started. I started with a few things, budgeting for this and that, but I started to feel too much in control of my finances, too much of a financial peace of mind. I used to feel uncertain on whether I could buy something or if I could afford to take a vacation someplace far. Now I don’t worry about that. Life is so planned, it’s now kind of boring. It’s not exciting and dangerous like before, leaving on the edge of financial bankrupcy! Now all goals have a timetable to accomplish. The spontaneity is out! What a boring but secure life?
I’m just kidding of course. I mean the opposite of all I’ve written.
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Jesse,
That is hilarious. I am right there with you. I have added a number of extra spreadsheets to YNAB to calculate specific things. Graphs sound like a great idea too! (thanks Sam).
Wow, I know I should join the group ABA, but I already have a membership in the group called Compulsive Spenders. Can’t wait for that subscription to expire!
Thanks, Jesse, for showing us the light at the end of the tunnel. And all the humor and good vibes it can bring!
Hi Jesse,
I have fallen off the wagon. I bought YNAB Pro last July, but fell of the wagon last year. I really want to be a budgeter again so I am getting back on starting tomorrow! I am really looking forward to it!
Thanks for your supportive tools!
Hi Jesse-
I just thought I’d let you know that I included this amusing post in the Carnival of Homeschooling today. It may not be directly homeschool-related, but money-management is definitely something that kids need to learn. You can see the post here: http://www.janice-campbell.com/2008/08/19/carnival-of-homeschooling-more-to-school-than-textbooks/
So…this means that just as I was getting ready to purchase YNAB and put myself through all this pain and misery, I can toss that idea out into the idea graveyard in my backyard where all my good ideas are buried! Back to big spending, plastic money, free wheeling and feeling fine. YAY!
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hi i know this post is like a year ago and i’m kinda of late and maybe you are not so bored with budgeting again, but i want to say that man i hope i can get to your level one day and say all that jesse. Oh yeah i just bought ynab and already i’m addicted and my compliments goes out to all that struggle to get the buffer because a first i thought my budget was the worst in the world, after using ynab and reading everyone comments on getting their life back on track really was an inspiration. i really hadnt much trouble getting my buffer up (its not as much as i want it to be yet) all this time i just needed real good budgeting. Everyone else have bigger money problem compared to mine.
sorry side tracked,
if you really are still bored to hell, feeling guilty about budgeting, the motivational speaker Anthony robbins spoke about some people who are being successful get to a point where they sabotage themselves because they are not used to that kind of mind set in your case i guess its the “spending money part even with all that wealth”.
You may have felt not deserve to live outside your means. You taught us to live within our means so one day we save enough that we can live the life we want. well at least not paycheck to paycheck.
A life full of excitement unpredictability, being a spendrift, giving out money like water or like there is no tommorrow, bringing out the child in us we so long repressed, to go where we want,when we want, whatever means we have or more nobly helping and donating to people WITHOUT saying to them “oh Here you go! Take this money and don’t worry about me because I’ve been efficient, I’ve sorted my budget! this piece of my pie has been waiting for you since last month!”
This is the pleasure(i hope so) of moving up or being successful after every good budget. but since you been conditioned overtime to budget rigorously and not spend(“spending = guilt”)you might not be used to live a little flambuoyantly even after you’ve moved up. you are experiencing what tony robbins call “approach/avoidance”… you think (most of the time unconsciously)that by spending you will gain pleasure but at the same time its pain because you might spend over your budget.
also kinda like a anorexic person felt about eating.(i wasn’t one but was on my way there at one point)
I say this from what i can derive from your post. this is just my view and maybe you find this useful maybe not. If not but still not satisfied then maybe I suggest you own Tony robbin’s Get the edge product if you havent already. You might find answers there to help you with this problem. this is the link on the product
http://www.tonyrobbins.com/Solutions/ProductsDetail.aspx?ProductID=761&SubCategory=Multimedia
The whole program also teaches a lot of very good tools. if you’d like to know more about the approach/avoidance stuff you can also email me.
well you might have already solved your problem by now so eventhough i’ve just spend about half an hour writing this maybe more then sorry for blabbing nonsense and I’d like to thanks for your program it’s been a real help, i’ll recommend ynab to everybody and live the ynab way!
cher
after reading about ynab, perhaps i have not come across the answer to one basic question i have before i purchase the product…how do i not pay sept bills with sept money and use sept money to pay oct bills? sept bills still need to get paid. am i missing something? i don’t want to purchase the product if i need to have one month cushion as i don’t have it now. please advise.
thanks!!!
@dana
No, you’re not missing anything, you just need to take a step-by-step approach to YNAB until you can one day operate with a full ‘Buffer’ like the software seems to be rigidly tied to. Hint: It’s not. ;)
The good news is that although YNAB is designed to approach budgeting one month at a time while using money earned last month, you can get it to work with even though you may not yet have a full month’s worth of money built up. What will help you in the long run though would be to work your way up to budgeting the whole month out and if you can bear with me I’ll go over how to do just that briefly below.
The best way to approach your situation is to take what you have on hand now enter it as “Supplemental income” and budget it towards what you need to pay before you get paid again. Then when you do get paid again simply repeat the process. As long as you are able to budget aside even the smallest of amounts at the end of each budgeting session into a ‘Saving for the Buffer’ type category then you will be able to eventually save up enough money to equal an entire month’s worth of expenses – a full “Buffer” – and then budget using money earned in the previous month. Then, as the month goes by, you will tag any and all income as “Primary income” allowing the cycle to repeat forever removing you from the doubt and uncertainty of having to time paychecks and guess at how best to approach your budget.
In case you aren’t familiar with the terms that YNAB uses, “Supplemental & Primary income”, I’ve included a description of each type below.
Primary income is money that flows into your life (from any source and at any frequency) that the software earmarks as available to spend next month. You will not begin to enter income as Primary until you have a buffer in place or are near the end of the month and no longer need the money in this month.
Supplemental Income is money that flows into your life from any source and at any frequency that you decide needs to be made available right now in the current month to budget (assign it to be spent or saved) as needed. Until you have a buffer in place, ALL income should be entered as Supplemental unless, like above, you are near the end of the month and no longer need the money in this month. Then you can use Primary.
You’re as “mad as a hatter”. :)
One thought though … deposit your paycheck into 2-3 money market accounts that have up to 6 check writing privileges. Your money earns interest until the bill is paid. Well, someone I work with has done this for over 15 years, without a single problem yet.
I’ve kind of already done that. I have 1/2 of our monthly mortgage come out of each paycheck directly into our savings account. I gave our mortgage company permission to withdraw the mortgage payment on time from our savings account on a specific date.
Since we started that this year, that gives us a full extra mortgage payment in there as a buffer, because I get paid bi-weekly (26) paychecks, and only 24 paychecks are necessary to make sure the mortgage is paid throughout the year. Only 160 months to go until it’s paid in full (whoohooo)!
I’ve read this post several times over the last few months, and it still makes me smile every time I do.
When I first read it I was at the “able to tell you exactly how much money I had in my checking account.” stage, needing to log on practically every morning to check. Now I’ve only got a general idea of the amount.
Maybe it’s time I quit budgeting too! :)
Ivor.
i recently recived this as an email it it made my day! super funny and sarcastic, LOVE IT :) definently a Y-nab’er for LIFE lol