Hello Savvy Saver!
Kids do not need your money to have fun.
This here is Porter. Every parent brags on their kids, so I’ll brag on mine. He throws a perfect spiral. He adjusts to any ball thrown to him just like Jerry Rice. He has potential, and my job is to not stifle it for the next 14 years.
He’s four years old.
A couple weeks ago I thought I’d be the best dad ever and bring home a surprise. A massive Lego pirate ship. Porter was ecstatic. We began the unveiling on the kitchen table and had to re-veil it an hour and a half later because I wasn’t even done constructing the first half of it. That night Porter made me promise we’d finish building it the following night. First thing in the morning he pops out of bed and is devastated that I have to go to work before we can finish it (he knows when I go to work I’m gone all day and that there are only a few hours from when I get home to when bedtime hits).
Well, we did finish it, and Porter and his brother had a blast with the pirate ship — for about two days.
Legos are PRICEY! I saw this as an investment in my kids’ entertainment and it very quickly was not paying any dividends. It’s already begun gathering dust.
A few months ago we were playing dodgeball in the house. I was using virtually any ball that isn’t hard, but I throw them hard, so things around the house (including the boys, my targets) were in danger. They didn’t care about the danger at all. We’d run circles through the house. We have a large family room, so it’s perfect for dodgeball.
Anyway, I won’t go into details, but I got in trouble for doing the dodgeball thing.
For Christmas, Santa brought the Mecham household six colored balls that are the perfect size for dodgeball. They’re also soft, so things and people won’t get hurt. I asked Santa, and those balls cost almost nothing.
Two days after the grand entrance of the pirate ship we were back to playing dodgeball.
I’m no parenting expert, so take this observation for what it’s worth.
One thing I have learned regading kids and money “invested” in their entertainment…everything seems to be so much more entertaining when I’m directly involved with whatever we’re doing and it is never related to what I’ve spent.
So the next time you’re sitting there debating about whether or not to drop XX amount of dollars on this or that electronic gadget, widget, etc… just remember that YOU are much more entertaining than anything you can buy for your kids. Save yourself some money and give them your full, undivided attention. Let’s not let the Wii replace the ‘We’!
That is really helpful. I’m not even a parent yet and I appreciate that. It’s so true – kids just want time with their parents more than the latest fad!
I got it right once. Whenever a helicopter flew over our house, my little girl would call it a ‘helicopper’. One day when I was away at work I bought her a Duplo helicopter. When she unwrapped it, she said ‘helicopter’ correctly for the first time.
BTW her first word was ‘shoes’ – which she called ‘oosh’. She’s still crazy for them nearly 30 years later!
A word about the Wii. I bought this along with Wii-fit last winter. Suddenly my family (now grown-up) were visiting more often. I was asked to bring it with me to parties. My daughter turned up every Sunday lunch when we launched into our ongoing tournaments on the Wii. It has subsided a bit since many of them have bought their own Wii. The fact is that the kids, however old, don’t want to just sit have your undivided attention if that means just talking or eating, they want to spend time doing an ongoing entertainment. It can be a cheap or an expensive game or hobby but there does have to be something you can interact with them. I have found that it is necessary to be good at whatever entertainment you choose otherwise you would soon find yourself side-lined again.
I am just now buying my son real toys. He is thirteen months now and is like a sponge so I want to get him anything that will not hurt him. He always prefers the box that it came in as long as i push him around in it. Sometimes I wonder if he sees the new toy as a distraction, something I want him to play with (by himself) so I can make dinner, etc. I was reading your tip today when this hit me, he really just wants my time. He loves to find sticks while we walk, this is his favorite thing. I am going to try a new approach. Thanks for the insight!
You are right I love “Let’s not let the Wii replace the ‘We!’
I must add though, as a parent with sons 22-16, at the very least, buy Legos that are neutral. The pirate ship is just that. Into the pre and early teens our “someday a house builder” son asked for batches of certain color legos on his Christmas lists for the structure he was building. You can buy them on ebay, (or could 5 years ago) cheap. Oh, and don’t settle for the Lego knock-offs. You’ll be tempted ’cause they save $$$, but they are inferior…
Thanks so much for not only trying to better peoples lives with their finances but also giving great parenting advice! You are right on. Kids just want time playing with you. (Even when they say they don’t as they get older)
I appreciate your program. It has done wonders for relieving the financial stress for me and my family. I have been a YNAB user for about 3 years and no longer stress if there is money in the bank!
Also have to chime in here in defense of legos…My kids, particularly my eldest, LOVED them, and i quickly found that that the neutral sets…the ones which did not necessarily build anything in particular really sparked his imagination. AND I agree with you that time spent with your kids pays dividends that one cannot begin to measure!
Amen on what Megan said. Legos were our favorite toy(as long as they didn’t build something specific)…but you never played them alone. It was always done with everyone together. Whole cities were built and long stories were played out. With 3 adult kids, the only toys we saved were the Legos (and Playmobil).
Thanks, Jesse, for the weekly tips. We look forward to reading them and are plugging away at building up the reserves.
Another vote for the Lego — I have three young sons and they play with it every day. It is the one toy in our house that never gathers dust. My mother-in-law still has the Lego my husband played with when he was a kid, so they play with that when we visit her. It is still in perfect condition and all the pieces still work with all the new stuff. I think it’s pretty much the ultimate toy. (And yes, my boys especially love it when my husband sits and builds with them — but they use it without him too).
I would add that if your kids love legos and have a mechanical inclination, that moving up to a Lego Robotics kit is a great idea once they reach a certain age. I coached a First Lego League team and the Lego Robotics kits are an incredible tool for teaching simple mechanical concepts and problem solving. Follow the basic directions for a ‘bot if you want to, or make your own, then figure out how to get that little guy to run an obstacle course. First Lego League is a great activity for kids, too, if there is a team in your area – every year there is a challenge (based around a science concept that has relevance to the year, like climate change or energy efficiency) and the kids have two big projects – design a robot that can get the best score on the year’s obstacle course, and research the issue and present their findings in a group presentation. The emphasis is absolutely on problem solving, teamwork, good sportsmanship, creativity and innovation. There is also a Junior First Lego League that is just about building (teamwork and creativity too :) ).
As a parent – if you like Legos, you will LOVE the robotics kit. Make a building with a pulley system to lift up platforms, or make a car (with the motors in the kit) and see which wheels make the car move the fastest. The best part is – of course – working together to solve a problem.
Lego robotics kits are pretty expensive, but are open-play (‘neutral’). There is a ‘lego robot man’ on the front of the kit, but that’s just one option of what you could build. There are tons of options online to help your kids learn – just look for ‘First Lego League’ on Google or another search engine. For fun, look up the same term on youtube for a ton of great videos showing FLL competitions.
As a parent of 5 children we found similar experiences and kids really love old fashion family board games, where there is lots of interactions.
One useful tip to save money during holidays road trips and the continual requests for souvenirs, with 5 kids is was expensive. What we did was at the beginning of the trip gave each child a payday for the entire trip to cover, souvenirs, books and small food items. They were told that was it for money and they needed to budget for the entire trip and here is the thing, anything they didn’t spend they got to keep when they got home, it was their decision what they spent it on. it was amazing how quickly they became discerning spenders, all the pestering stopped, my wife and I enjoyed the shopping, in fact it became quite hard to get them to spend on anything. No one got thirty or hungry when it was their money. We did it every trip for over 10 years and as they got older we moved to matching dollar for dollar any saving they did for our annual holidays.
Another vote for Legos! My son is seventeen, and ANY spare time he gets (which is not much anymore) he’s building with Legos–still, after all these years. My younger son, who is not as obsessed, would still include them in his top favorites, probably after balls, any size, any color, any type!
You probably should have picked a different example to get your wise message across–the best toy for them has always been their imaginations!
And P.S., turn off the T.V. as much as possible and get them interested in reading–that’s how they find their imaginations!
Porter is a cute kid, and lucky to have you for a Dad. : )