Dear Account Balance,
I’m really, really sorry about this. I know, it being Valentine’s Day and all, my timing couldn’t be worse, but…I just can’t pretend any longer.
It’s over.
I know we’ve had some good times in the past. They do say that tough times bring people together, and we’re certainly no exception. When times got really tough, and your balance was really low, I did feel a special bond with you. Checking in with you first thing in the morning, buying a gallon of gas to get me to work and back, and checking in with you again…
And then of course constantly logging in online during work to see what you’d been up to. To see if maybe a check had been cashed or if, heaven forbid, you’d experienced an overdraft.
It’s not you. It’s me. Honestly. You did your best. You were always there, putting on your best face, even if that best face always set my stress levels a bit higher.
Remember paydays though? Those were such good times! You and I both could finally breathe a sigh of relief, as we saw your potential skyrocket! Of course, all good things come to an end and that good thing always seemed to end rather quickly. It just seemed that even at our highs, we both secretly knew that rocky roads were ahead–again.
I know you’ve seen this coming. We’ve just been seeing each other so infrequently as of late, and I really just need to be straight up with you, so here goes:
I’ve been seeing a lot of Budget lately.
Please don’t take this the wrong way, we can definitely still be friends, but Budget has just shown me that the relationship I had with you was mediocre at best, and many times, downright unhealthy. Stressful. We just weren’t getting anywhere.
You didn’t really hear me when I talked of my aspirations to be better with my money. You’d let me speak in generalities, but you never really promoted specific targets that I could set my sights on. I just felt like our relationship was an uphill treadmill. I was trying really hard, and getting nowhere.
I have goals, you know? I have aspirations in life! I want to be debt free, go on vacations with cash, and *gasp* buy my next car outright. Budget understands that about me. In fact, one of the things I love most about Budget is the listening. When I sit down and talk with Budget, Budget listens, adapts, and makes sure my goals are taken seriously! There are times when Budget pushes back a bit, and I feel frustrated, but it’s not frustration with our relationship as much as it is with myself.
I’m sorry it has to end this way, but I want you to know that I’ll check in time and again, just to see how things are going. I’m certain this is also a better move for you in the long run.
In the end, I feel like Budget takes me for who I am, and then makes me a better version of myself.
Break ups should be a short affair — just like removing bandaids. Here’s an alternative version (whilst not being abrupt – comedic flavour intended):
“Dear Account Balance,
I have come to realise that, on balance, you and I have a toxic relationship. Our co-dependence has made both of us worse off. It’s not your fault, it’s been my error to consult with you when making decisions instead of telling you ‘you need to step up to the task of what my needs, wants and dreams are’. So today makes a new approach. No more consultation, I own you and you’re my bitch. So here’s the truth, straight up: YOU NEED A BUDGET!”
ps: Nice one. It’s very much like the NAB (National Australia Bank) break up advertisements here in Australia, which was designed to differentiate its financial products from its competitors. Except this is to highlight the need to stop being co-dependent on Account Balance. :)
I know, I seem to gravitate towards companies that do this. NAB, now YNAB…I wonder if it’s the name?
I love the letter and will stand by it strongly.
-No need to post-
LOL-I just finished a threesome with them both in YNAB 3, when I checked my email and saw this update!
This post is down-right beautiful. Thanks for the smile!
This is one of the funniest articles I have ever read in regards to budgeting! Keep it up.
very cute
I love this, Jesse! I’m teaching a 4-week class on money at my church and will share this with them tomorrow. I mentioned to them last week that no longer will they be accessing their account balance online to see how much money they have to spend. Nope, look at your budgets.
We just finished up our Financial Peace course a couple weeks back. Everyone got a ton out of it and it’s made for churches. Check it out if you’re not familiar with it.
In the class I brought up YNAB and some other financial systems as well to let people know what’s out there.
http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu
The only thing that Ramsey gets right is that you should make a budget every month. Everything else is garbage.
Great letter. Wish I could have written it years ago!
Thank-you Jesse, I can see that approach works much better.
jesse, this is account balance, I’m really struggling to reconcile this data, maybe we are just out of sync?
Duly noted Andy. Duly noted.
What a gentleman!! I hope you negotiated with Budget a kg of chocolates to soften your pain ;)
Brilliant, simply brilliant!
I was heart broken but filled joy, after reading your letter. One I wish to writing myself some day soon.
Account Balance: “I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me on Valentine’s Day!”
Good post, Jesse. Sometimes a parable like this brings the big picture into better focus than just being told what to do.
Alan
Fantastic note…can’t agree more!!!!
Chris Brown version:
Dear budget,
Deuces
Sigh. And I thought it was going to be a break up letter with Jesse telling bank balance “I can no longer reconcile you, so I’m starting over with a new one” (Because that’s where I”M at! And was hoping for permission to ‘let it go’ and just start over!!!!’ which I really don’t want to do…I’m committed to this balance, so much energy and time put in…)
Lisa, just start over. Honestly, it’s really not too big of a deal. We put way too much importance on our file’s history and not enough importance on the process of thinking through our money :)
You’re kidding, right? I’ve only been using YNAB since November and I already have reconciliation problems.
This is a clever post Jessie. But please address YNAB’s reconciliation issues.
Kevin, duly noted on a better reconciliation mechanism. It will be in a future release and I think you’ll like how it turns out.
I’ve found that reconciliation issues have been on the bank data side (especially with multiple people using the budget, if one tiny transaction gets missed you pull your hair out) BUT I found a solution that works for me (provided you are entering all of your data regularly):
I do regular bank imports to check accounts vs what has been entered manually; I find YNAB is spot on with lining up “Bank” and “You”. The problem comes in when the bank likes to insert a transaction from a month ago that is already captured, or even from before your “fresh start”
What I have started doing is before I do any import I flag all transactions I have manually confirmed (i.e. with a red flag) then import. Any “new transactions” should only be within the previous few days if someone missed adding something on their mobile app, If I see any “unflagged” transactions from weeks or months ago, I know that is where the reconciliation issue lies.
Not perfect I know, but I haven’t had to “fresh start” due to a reconciliation since I started using this method.
Lisa, Jesse is right. Just let it go and begin again.
I have run YNAB for a year and LOVE it, but my hard drive died an unexpected quick death just before Christmas.
I thought I was running backups on my external hard drive. Nope.
So, I let go of everything, not by choice though. :-)
That is my secondary advice-backup, backup, backup!
Great article, Jesse. I will be sharing it in my upcoming FPU class.
Thanks! Great way to start our Valentine’s “celebration,” and it will just be the TWO of us, no balance joining us! ;o)
My word…what a funny post on how to stop looking at the bank balance to determine how much money is available to spend….LMAO all morning!! Jesse, you have too much talent..
Brilliantly motivational!!!
Thank you!
LOVE IT! We are neophyte YNABers, in our first month of adpating to a new way of finanacial managment. This letter will help me take the jump and finally break up with my account balance!!! (confession….I still check the bank website balance every day…oops!)
**Confession: I check my Account Balance daily too, but I check to see if it matches YNAB.
Jessie, Thanks for breaking my co-dependent relationship! I should have written this letter years ago. Great posting!
Love it!
I have been intending to begin using ynab for sometime probably 2 years!! But this letter to break up with account balance and beginning dating budget is awesome!! Thank you for the motivation!
This post reminded me that, since January I have not even looked at my account balance! (maybe I should go over there and explain..) with YNAB I don’t have to look! And my goals are being met already! Today was Valentine’s day. I made a really nice (totally IN budget) breakfast for My Dave, and HE brought me a cut out heart and 2 pieces of taffy (our inside joke) And with all seriousness said, “Happy Valentines day honey.. and within budget!” I replies,”you betcha, that’s more romantic then anything else!” He also presented me with a coin from the Caribbean from his old collection that friends give him, and he stamped the word “dream” onto it, made me smile. For once I think I have a chance of actually being there with him, and loving it because we paid for everything first!
Good- bye Account balance… hello budget
This is a GREAT letter, I have already sent it as a valentine card to several friends. Jessie you and YNAB provide great motivation with your unique style and and sense of humor. Keep it up, it does help!
REALLY funny. Thanks.
Love it, such a good parable. It brings me a big smile. It was a tough and stressful relationship, but the new one with my YNAB gives me freedom and happiness.
Dear Jesse,
So hilarious! I’ve been in this revolving door relationship for years, and now, I’m finally in therapy – YNAB:)
Thank you,
M$
This is awesome, I Love it, I have my YNAB setup with so many accounts one that I call home where I post my weekly paychecks, and my husband monthly paycheck and a write the check for tithe. Then I have sub-categories of home so I can transfer money into them for all the bills that I would need to pay the next month, and for specific savings. I am loving it.
I’m going to hang out here and troll for balances on the rebound.
Ba-dump-bump
Just lovely! Makes me think about what kind of letter a credit card balance would get: court summons? :-)
Oh my, I’m in this relationship and I have YNAB, and I keep saying that I’m going to restart, restart and restart the YNAB and break the cycle with our checking account!! Thanks for the push today!!
I’ll tell you somethings that’s putting a strain on my relationship with YNAB, wi-fi syncing.
I hear that Rich. Thanks for sticking with the relationship as long as you have. We’ll get there. Wish we could get there faster.
AMEN!!!
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