YNAB Personal Budget Software & Finance Forums

[fuzzyjelly]

I'm a post weight loss surgery patient with a lot of hanging skin. I've developed a hernia that needs to be repaired and since insurance will cover this I can get an abdominoplasty at the same time and only pay about $2,500 for what the insurance won't cover. I'm doing this part, no question.

My trouble comes with the addition of a desperately wanted, but completely cosmetic breast lift that can also be done at the same time. If I do this with the other surgery it will add $5,000 to the price. If I do it later by itself it will cost about $7,500.

I'm obviously very emotional about all of this and I REEEEEEALY want the breast lift, but it's a lot of money and we don't have it. I would either borrow from my mom with no interest (this option includes a large amount of emotional stress because she loves to hold money over my head. She would consider me indebted to her not just for the money, but time and favors and phone calls and constant reminder of how generous and wonderful she is.) or on a credit card.

We are about 3/4 of the way to a full buffer. I could theoretically raid that and it would give me about $3,500 to work with. I can scrimp and save and cut out some rainy day stuff and maybe get another $500. The balance would be one of the two options above.

Of course I also have the option of not doing the breast lift, but if the choice were that easy I wouldn't be posting here

Go ahead. Tell me I'm nuts.

[JeffB]

Just the title of your post tells me you already know what is the best thing for you to do, your either looking for affirmation that your right, or approval to go ahead and do what you know you don't need (cant afford) to.

Id suggest skipping the breast surgery, you already have enough to deal with, why add to the stress with credit issues or family loan issues? Celebrate where you are now, dont take away from it by adding debt.

Id say finish what you've started now, work hard to keep what you just gained and maybe you'll decide you don't need the augment after all? If you do decide you want it, build it into your budget and save for it.

Your too close to where we all want to be by having a buffer, I vote to keep that buffer and skip the additional surgery.

[MALMomma]

I agree with, Jeff. Sounds like you already know what you need to do. I'd say since the funds are not there completely, skip it. You are SO close to that buffer and that is such a HUGE milestone. Look on the breast augmentation as something that would be nice to save up for. Skip the Mom Guilt, skip using your buffer for something that isn't a true need/emergency. Goodness, I can probably empathize a bit. After 3 kids, sure, getting a lift would be reallllly nice. But I just can't & won't bring myself to shell out that kind of money for something that is a purely vain want. Add to this that I'm tired of magazines, etc. shoving down the image of the "perfect" woman. It gets old - especially when only Barbie & a select few supermodels actually look that way!

Good luck with whatever decision you make. Remember, it has to be right for YOU - and not just a little right, but 100% "I feel damn good about this decision" right.

[malisab]

Even if the loan from your mom now would be no interest, it could certainly be seen as having a cost of more than $2500. If you put it on a card, it would have some extra cost. Depending on the interest rate and how long you carried it, it could get close.

It's not like you CAN'T have it later. You can. It's just like all the other things we want now and try to rationalize why it's better to get it now than to wait.

As others have said, only you know what's right for you emotionally. But the fact that you're posting this on the you-need-a-budget board shows what you already know to be true.

Put it on your list of WANTS for after you get your buffer and/or whatever other things you take to be needs.

[WairereRose]

I don't think you're nuts. You say you desperately want this surgery, and that means you probably have been wanting it for some time.

I do think the cost of borrowing from your mum will be too much emotionally and you should definitely leave that alone. I also think the option of taking out your buffer to fund this now and putting money on a CC for the balance is something you would be wise to leave alone.

You have come so far, and making the decision to stay true to your budget dream, as hard as it is for your 'ego' dream to wait, will be well worthwhile. What we do for ourselves emotionally is even more important than what we do for ourselves physically. I recognise that there is an emotional part to this decision as well, but a good brassiere can hide a multitude of sins in the meanwhile and is far cheaper for now.

Waiting for this surgery might mean you have to pay a little more. Ok, half as much again - maybe not such a little, but once you know you can save without raiding it (ie, complete your buffer) you will know that you can build your savings to achieve this goal. And if, as you say, you truly do desperately want it, then you will be very focussed on achieving that saving.

[fuzzyjelly]

I posted here for a reason and I really appreciate everyone weighing in.

I'm going to wait. As soon as I made the decision I felt better and it felt right. I just can't justify messing up the good we have done with our finances.

I'm going forward with the abdominoplasty alone and I'm happy about it!

Thanks to all my budget buddies

[MALMomma]

I am so happy that you made the decision that is best for YOU!!! Much luck with the abdominoplasty - and then with saving for the augmentation.

*hugs* In the mean time, just think about how beautiful you are within. That shows through outwardly!!