YNAB You Need A Budget

[shandsh]

I'm frustrated. I've been trying to work out a budget and save money since the beginning of the year. I am three months into using YNAB. I have, again, less than $100 in the savings, no buffer, and barely making minimum payments again on the credit cards because I'm trying to save money if Murphy'd leave me alone. I'm not using the credit cards, except for recurring bills that I pay off on a rewards card that had no balance to begin wtih so that's safe... I promise. I'm not using them to "buy stuff" with... so, therefore I have no stuff. I have no fun. The kids haven't been to a baseball game yet this because I don't have the money. Some weeks I can't even go to the grocery store because I don't have the money. The bills are paid and I'm not living on over drafts or credit cards any more but I'm bored and I'm broke. Yes, this is the real world and the way I was living before was all an elaborate card trick... but I need to know that some day soon I'm going to be able to have the money to have fun again because this sucks and my kids are really not happy with me right now either.

[rollercoaster]

I'm not sure about where you live, but there are tons of free or dirt cheap entertainment options to take the kids to around here.

I'm not sure the ages of your children, but here are a couple examples from our city that maybe you can look and see if there is something similar in your area:

1) A local bowling alley allows each child 1 free game of bowling per day, every day during the summer months.
2) Every Saturday morning there is a free Kids' Matinee at one of the local movie theaters.
3) Summer reading programs put on by the local library, sometimes with author visits or craft projects.
4) Nature Center is free admission but you can donate a couple dollars if you want. There's lots to see and learn. They have also miles of bike/walk/hiking paths to explore.

Fun to be had at home for free: playing cards or board games, plan and do a scavenger hunt, read a book aloud giving all characters personalities and voices, etc.

Unfortunately Murphy is a fact of life. Even if your savings took a hit, try to take heart in the fact that you did not add any debt to your credit cards when Murphy came calling. Even small wins are still wins and the money you did have in savings did it's job when it was needed.

[stefer]

Hang in there! Here's hoping that Murphy will leave you alone for a while so you can build your buffer. I finished my 1st month and i'm proud of myself that i sticked to actually working with a real budget, but i've had downfalls too, and Murphy intervened once or twice. Badluck, Murphy, temptations, i think you'll all find them like most down the road, but it is a learning experience. Like mapster suggested, there's a lot of free activities for kids. Also, i don't know where you are but here its a wonderful summer. Just going for a walk with the kids, playing outside, enjoying the incredible weather... it's a sacrifice to make this year i'm guessing but if you go through it i bet next year will be much more fruitful!

Don't give up!

[Maggie Magpie]

Allow me to try and illustrate what you might be going through using "physics" as a reference:

Acceleration with a change in direction of motion (taken from Lectures in Physics, take from Benjamin Crowell's "Light and Matter" series)

A person kicks a ball, which rolls up a sloping street, comes to a halt, and rolls back down again. The ball has constant acceleration. The ball is initially moving at a velocity of 4.0 m/s, and after 10.0 s it has returned to where it started. At the end, it has sped back up to the same speed it had initially, but in the opposite direction. What was its acceleration? By giving a positive number for the initial velocity, the statement of the question implies a coordinate axis that points up the slope of the hill. The "same" speed in the opposite direction should therefore be represented by a negative number, -4.0 m/s.

OK....I am no physicist, but I'm hoping you see the movement of the "ball" as your debt. Debt is what is keeping you from increasing your savings and your buffer. The visits from Murphy are normal because as already said, Murphy visits all of us. If you had not stopped the unnecessary spending on credit cards, Murphy was still going to visit and the ball would have continued to propel up the hill. However, using the above definition of Acceleration with a change in direction of motion, I believe you are experiencing the actual "halt before the change in direction" which seems like you are standing still with no positive movement in paying down your debt. But in actual fact, after years of building the debt, it would take any number of months (combined with the usual Murphy visits) to change the direction of the ball back down the hill....so the halt may take a few months. Finally, someday you'll wake up one morning and discover that Murphy has been visiting less and your savings and buffer are getting built one dollar bill at a time; the ball has finally slowly started to roll back down the hill.

So don't give up. See this as your opportunity to discover that wonderful experiences are based on feelings experienced. Feelings are free, feeling joy with your family is free. So find joy doing free or low cost activities.

Hang in there. You're not alone.

[malisab]

Allow me to try and illustrate what you might be going through using "physics" as a reference:

That was really cool Maggie. I'm quoting it into my journal so I happen upon it from time to time.

Shandsh, I don't know what else to say. Others have had some great ideas. I don't have kids, so I don't have other ideas. Do the kids have some things that they've outgrown (age or size wise) that you could sell one way or another? Maybe you could make a 'game' out of cleaning out the ________ (closet, basement, toy chest) and then take the money earned to go to a ballgame or something.

Two blogs I like are thesimpledollar.com and getrichslowly.org and they both link to countless others which have low/no cost ideas of things to do with kids and ideas of ways to make money that you might not have thought of.

[lautzu]

Shandsh,

That sounds really tough, but I hope you find the encouragement you are looking for - after all, what is the alternative? You sound like you are resolved against going back to piling up more debt.

I had two other suggestions, more along the lines of psychology than physics ...

1. If you can find any amount of money to give yourself or your family as "fun money", even if it is $5 the first month, do it. Don't budget for what you end up using it for, just budget it out of your deposit account as "Spending: Fun Money" (or something that fits your categories). Then use it for whatever you want - wait for the ice cream truck to drive by one day, you name it. The point is that you're giving yourself permission to spend without thinking about it. Budgeting so closely can weigh on you a bit, especially when it is so incredibly tight like your situation. You need to give yourself an outlet from it, of course in way that doesn't violate the big picture of what you're trying to do.

2. Graph or chart your debts. YNAB does this for the totals, but I mean each debt. You see a lot of people tracking this in their signatures. Not so much to show off - who wants to show of 15k in debt? - but to support their efforts. If you can see it go down, even by $5, you'll see the benefits of your incredible efforts. Go visual.

Best of luck, hang in there, and keep talking about it.

[jladyga]

I am three months into using YNAB. I have, again, less than $100 in the savings, no buffer, and barely making minimum payments again on the credit cards because I'm trying to save money if Murphy'd leave me alone.

Ditto, Ditto, and Ditto. And Ditto, again. Well, except that we're paying a little more than the minimum on only ONE CC of FIVE.

Rest assured, there are many of us whom relate to being as "sick and tired of being sick and tired" as you. But at least you seem to have gotten out of the overdraft cycle, which we did AGAIN yesterday. Simple hit and miss of the Bill Pay that was scheduled through the bank that we didn't tell YNAB about. And then came the four small purchases that were pending and hit the account AFTER that bill pay. Absolutely brutal.

But it continues to make us even more resolved to get the buffer and emergency fund in place so these things just don't happen again. The notion that we'd have to wait for necessary grocery shopping until Friday is one I have long thought would have been eradicated by now. Not YNAB's fault, it's ours. And YNAB has a knack of holding us accountable in a way we never were before.

Debt is what is keeping you from increasing your savings and your buffer.

Couldn't be more true, and can't wait until ours is gone! After September (a long planned vacation... I know it's silly to put off debt reduction until then, but it's a compromise) we are focusing hard on ours with an aggressive snowball plan.

If you can find any amount of money to give yourself or your family as "fun money", even if it is $5 the first month, do it.

I'm (finally) going to push hard for this. It seems so obvious, but something we've never given to ourselves. We are self-identified spenders and need a way to address this each month or we're going to continue to to the walking up a down escalator thing. Or rolling our ball up and back down the hill. However you want to look at it.

The bills are paid and I'm not living on over drafts or credit cards any more but I'm bored and I'm broke.

This has been a huge discussion point with us. We feel like we make too much money NOT to be able to enjoy it, but we've prioritized those fun things over safety and savings, and I think we've finally gotten fed up with shorting ourselves.

Keep going, Shandsh. And keep the head up. We're in it to win it, if you are.

[shandsh]

Thanks everyone, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels like they are trying to put out a forest fire with a squirt bottle. I guess I'm just spoiled and feeling sorry for myself again. The kids (12 and 14) and I need to try harder to find things to do here in St. Louis that are free or frugal, and I know we can. Ihave made a lot of progress this year, even if my bank account doesn't reflect it. I have had only one over-draft and I've paid off over $11,000 of credit card debt. I think I went about this all wrong though and should have funded my savings before going after the debt. I realized that mistake and am down to a little over $6,000 in credit card debt so I'm making minimum payments now and trying to save but like I said, that darn Murphy keeps taking it out as fast as I can put it away because I don't have enough room between my bills and my paycheck to deal with those uh-oh's. I know it has to get better and I just keep asking my kids to give me a year to try to get my feet back under me again and that it won't be like this forever.

[malisab]

Thanks everyone, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels like they are trying to put out a forest fire with a squirt bottle. I guess I'm just spoiled and feeling sorry for myself again. The kids (12 and 14) and I need to try harder to find things to do here in St. Louis that are free or frugal, and I know we can. Ihave made a lot of progress this year, even if my bank account doesn't reflect it. I have had only one over-draft and I've paid off over $11,000 of credit card debt. I think I went about this all wrong though and should have funded my savings before going after the debt. I realized that mistake and am down to a little over $6,000 in credit card debt so I'm making minimum payments now and trying to save but like I said, that darn Murphy keeps taking it out as fast as I can put it away because I don't have enough room between my bills and my paycheck to deal with those uh-oh's. I know it has to get better and I just keep asking my kids to give me a year to try to get my feet back under me again and that it won't be like this forever.

OMG shandsh that is HUGE. You've done such a great job this year. Hindsight is 20/20. I'm going to be focusing on building reserves/letting money sit more once the school year starts and we start getting paid again as well.

And I agree with lautzu too. Budget something for fun. It sounds like by budgeting a minimal amount, it would be a great experience (for you now and for them later) to sit down with your kids and determine what would be the best thing to do with it.

[jjsouth]

OMG shandsh that is HUGE. You've done such a great job this year.

Ditto!

Sounds like you are making great strides.

I have kids your kids' ages. I'll tell you some of the things we do together that they enjoy:

Family bike rides. This is one of our favorite activities. I think when you walk, you feel obligated to talk to each other. But on a bike, you can't really talk and sometimes that suits those teenagers just right.

Cards. This one was already mentioned, but there is an endless supply of fun card game rules you can read about online. My kids recently learned to play hearts and we spent HOURS playing. Then my brother taught us one called "Oh, He**" (goofy name, but appropriate). It was sooo much fun. We played it for hours and hours, too.

http://www.pagat.com/exact/ohhell.html (<-- Rules)

Redbox. Cheap $1 movies. Nice. The kids take turns choosing and we usually reserve them from home and go pick them up and I will let them choose a $1 candy or something from the grocery store.

I honestly think that if you just spend time together, that it doesn't really matter what you're doing. This can be an opportunity for growing closer and may very well be a time that your kids look back on fondly (someday).

Good luck!

Joyce

[ginger]

I just googled "free things to do in St Louis" and found this link:

http://stlouis.about.com/od/freethingstodo/Free_Things_to.htm

Have fun!

[shandsh]

thanks everyone, we do a lot of those things on the free stuff to do in STL too... nothing is ever really free when you leave the house. We do go for bike rides, when it's not 100 degrees out like it has been lately. We rent a lot of movies from redbox! LOL, several times a month. We haven't been to the zoo yet this year because of the weather either, and we always do that every season. It's hard to leave the house without spending money somehow wether it's just the gas to get there or the parking (the zoo charges $8 to park), and someone always decides they are hungry or thirsty when we are some place that charges $4 for a small lemonade! geez. LOL. The kids and I just talked a few days ago about picking up a new board game and decided on clue. Games can get really expensive to buy sometimes too.

[Old Blue]

The kids and I just talked a few days ago about picking up a new board game and decided on clue. Games can get really expensive to buy sometimes too.

Aloha - you could try making your own board games - check this thread out - making boardgames can cover several bases for entertaining your kids over the summer

[DJG]

It's not just the software............this thread, specifically the people posting to it, is what makes YNAB work. By the time I read all the posts all my thoughts and ideas had been covered. You are not alone!

[TLBauer]

As was mentioned, there are card games that you can play. A big one for us around here is dominoes. We pop some pop-corn and make a pitcher of iced tea and sit down for hours playing dominoes. A great time to laugh and get to know your own kids better! Also, while it's not free, it's very inexpensive: we have these Red Box movie rentals all over town where you can rent a relatively recent movie for $1. Also, what about a picnic at a local lake or park? With games of catch or frisbee while you grill up something good to eat!

There is plenty to do to keep your kids occupied, if they are willing to participate! But, whatever you do, don't give up! You've already come a long way! It does get easier, and you can make it to the end of the road. Were all pulling for you!