We both know it was not love at first sight, but maybe that is part of what makes it so special now, all these years later.
When we were first introduced, I thought you were a pompous control-freak. I thought you were judgy and bossy. You were a buzzkill and I wanted nothing to do with you.
Of course, I was young and independent and all that comes with that. I had my sights set on being a #girlboss. I didn’t need a guy, and I certainly did not need a budget. I was all happy hours and jeans and girls trips—I was all about me—and I thought I was happy.
But slowly, there were little pricks of regret I couldn’t deny. I was stressed about money and I made plenty of money. I felt a little bit guilty—aware of my total defiance of anything resembling financial responsibility—and I knew that someday I would have to face the inevitable. I did not admit it to anyone, but I started to think about you.
I was maybe, a little bit interested in getting to know the real you—there had to be something more beyond that foul reputation you hide behind… I was cautiously curious…
And then I got into some trouble. It was only a couple thousand dollars, but to me, at the time, it was suffocating and overwhelming and I was scared. It felt insurmountable and suddenly, I didn’t want to be alone anymore.
And there you were. You were strong and consistent. You had a quiet confidence that was comforting and safe. And even if you were a little bit boring at times, I knew that you were in my corner. I felt like you truly saw me for all that I was and all that I could be.
You gave me confidence like I had never known. I thought that I was powerful being on my own, but once I experienced how powerful it felt to have you in my corner, it was intoxicating.
Now, it’s hard to remember where you begin and I end. We work together. We are better together.
Thank you for making me better.
Love always, even when it’s hard,