Annie here. If you’re just now jumping into our discussion, I’m sharing my husband’s strategy for getting me onboard with YNAB:
- Step 1: Get Your Stuff Together
- Step 2: Your Spouse Owns a Category
- Step 3: Your Spouse Owns a Long-term Category
- Step 4: Give Options for Success
- Step 5: Your Spouse Edits an Already Entered Budget.
- Step 6: Your Spouse Creates a Budget and Assigns Downloaded Transactions
Now on to the fun stuff! You’ve been doing steps 1 through 6 for several months now (maybe even years). Gently, sensitively, kindly, with no judgment or angst. Okay, well, maybe a little angst, but you’re trying not to show it, right?
You spouse is going along with it quite well (if not, then keep at it and try this step later). This is the conversation you’re ready to have:
“Hey honey, wouldn’t it be great if I did some of your jobs and you did some of my jobs for a month? I don’t think I appreciate you enough. So what chores are you tired of doing? How about I cook meals for a month and do the laundry. Um….let’s see…what do I do? Oh…YNAB! It’s really easy. You’re not into math? Well, I’m sure you’ll see that I’m not into cooking either!”
Step 7: Your spouse owns the budget for a month.
The way my husband and I did it was that I made the budget (he edited it), downloaded and assigned transactions, paid all the bills (which is also normally his job), and basically managed our finances all month. He did the laundry and cooking (which was…fun, but also a nice break). I remember being totally intimidated by it all at first. I was so afraid I was going to screw it up or not pay a bill on time or something. But at the same time, I was so relieved to learn it all because I was secretly plagued with this fear of being totally in the dark if something ever happened to my husband and he was unable to do it all. Bills would go unpaid, and it’d be a total, unnecessary mess all because I was being a baby not wanting to learn it.
In my first blog post here at YNAB, I told you about how my husband tossed me the budget like a hot potato, but now, having seen all the steps, you can see how he was very deliberate, patient, and especially empathetic toward me through the whole process.
I’m so grateful for the process that my husband went through, too. Now, we share the budget and are equal partners. I no longer feel like a kid with an allowance. We are moving forward with goals in mind and are so excited about our plans.
And like so many of you can say…we couldn’t have done it without YNAB! If you’re not so optimistic about having success with these steps, I encourage you to try it out gingerly and patiently. And if your issues run deeper, I highly recommend a good marriage counselor. It’s the best investment that my husband and I have made into our marriage.