Today is my oldest son’s 4th Birthday. For two years he’s asked me why I have to go to work. For two years I’ve told him the same thing:
To earn money, so we can buy food and have a place to live.
When he was really little he actually started to leave money out of the picture. I’d say I’m going to work and he’d respond, “to buy food?” And that, my friends, is how the world works. His first exposure to money and he just forgot about it. Food was the important part.
Last year for Christmas he was given a wallet with a five-dollar bill inside. I was amazed, but he actually kept that money in his wallet for the most part. A few times I found it among the toys in their toy box and I’d bring it to him and tell him how important it was that he keep track of his money (you can’t start ‘em too early). His aunt came and visited a few months ago and we headed off to Target because he had decided to assign those five dollars a job: buy a toy light saber.
Julie and I went off to do some other Target-errands while my son and his aunt headed to the toy section. When it came time to checkout I was keenly aware of the entire process. This was his first transaction and I wanted it to hurt when he spent that five dollars. (The total was actually $7.50 and I made up the difference – a moment of weakness perhaps).
I made sure my son handed the cashier the five dollars, and waited with baited breath to see his signs of hesitation, perhaps a furrowed brow and a longing look at his wilted piece of currency.
Nope. He handed it to her so fast and didn’t blink an eye. Money was a means to an end (end = light saber).
I used my new found knowledge a few weeks later when I came home from gathering food and was told that the basement apartment below us was now dealing with a broken window, compliments of my son’s (awesome) ability to huck anything he can heft further than kids twice his age.
I didn’t so much care about the broken window, or even really about the money it would cost. I did want to teach him a lesson about what this loss would mean. I sat him down and told him that because it was going to cost money to replace the window, we wouldn’t be able to buy a Wii. His eyes got big and he got the lesson. The Mecham Pie is finite buddy, and you just ate a slice.
[We still haven’t purchased a Wii even though I still really want one for, you know, Dad-Son bonding time and things like that. My son still mentions the fact that we don’t have a Wii because he broke the window. The lesson that just keeps on teaching!]
For my son, the End was the Wii and we didn’t have the means because he had broken a window.
As an adult with these little dependents running all around me, my Ends are different. Or at least they should be. And I suppose that is where the lesson lies.
This list is not exclusive, but as an adult, your Ends should include:
An Emergency Fund
Guys, give your wife a break and let her have a bit of breathing room! She’ll thank you for it.
Savings for Retirement
Don’t depend on anyone for your retirement except your own ingenuity, creativity, and sweat.
Minimal (or no) Debt Load
Pay off all of your debt as fast as you can and reclaim all of the time, sweat, thought, stress, and tears that create that precious income.
A kid gets bright-eyed with the prospect of spending $5 on a light saber. A guy gets bright-eyed with the prospect of spending $500 on a “modest” gas grill (the one that really caught my eye yesterday was over $900 though – yeah right!). Does the same guy get excited about throwing $500 toward unsecured debt? Or stashing $300 in his emergency fund?
At some point, the earlier the better, your Ends have to change. You’re no longer a kid. For my oldest son, Money equals things. For you, an adult, Money should equal Security and Peace.